shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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