whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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