ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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