The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
