she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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