Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
