Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
