batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
