I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
