i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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