I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
