It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize