we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
