If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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