She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
