I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
