Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
