I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
