My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize