The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
