This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
