he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
home. puking in laundry basket.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
