He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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