hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
did you just send me my own nude
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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