I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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