you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
