College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
