was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
