i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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