another moral hangover. fuck.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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