My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
