He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize