She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
