Moan for me like Helen Keller
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
