seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
honey bunches of taint.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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