I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize