i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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