He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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