and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
