He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
it's like heaven, but drunker
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
