well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
