Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
