Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
