Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize