Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
