Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
