You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
