Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You are the jesus of drinking
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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