She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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