Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We are two peas in an std pod
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
