Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
The struggles of a small town man whore
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
