Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
