WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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