I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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