Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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