so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
