This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
