yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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