Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
