Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
