I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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