Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize