hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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