He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Terrible idea I love it
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
