So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
