id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
