Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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