How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
